about a same-sex couple or an opposite-sex couple, we're really talking about the differences between men and women regarding how much they think, talk, analyze, and want to improve their relationships. for all women, we spend a lot of time thinking and analyzing about our relationships. and when people talk about our role as a mother or as a partner, we're going to take those comments personally. as men, you're able to sort of say oh well and move on. much easilier than we are. >> that's definitely not true for all relationships. i don't find that the dynamic in my marriage, but i wondered if you do have a situation where your husband and as the wife your mom aren't getting along very well. i mean, who is the burden on to sort of heal that relationship? and what are some strategies there? >> well, i think it differs. as you said as well, from relationship to relationship.